Scott Swaney facts
Scott Swaney did a rap and swim kiddy canyon one time. It was Heaps.
Scott Swaney carries two ascenders with him at all times: his left hand and his right hand.
Scott Swaney is very concerned about his device getting too hot while on rope. This is what limits how fast he can ascend.
The chockstone in Orderville was placed there as a natural anchor by Scott Swaney.
When Scott Swaney climbs Everest, he carries his own sherpa.
Although possible to construct one in theory, friction in real pulleys makes it impossible to construct a mechanical advantage system that would allow someone to beat Scott Swaney in a tug of war.
To free a stuck rope, Scott Swaney just shakes the canyon walls until it falls down.
When Scott Swaney constructs a 6:1 haul system, he rigs it backwards so he can raise the person faster.
Scott Swaney was once involved in a rescue with 10 trained mountain rescue professionals. Don't worry; he got them out ok.
Scott Swaney did Fish Fork in one day on a sprained ankle.
Scott Swaney wears a helmet so that he doesn't damage canyons walls if he slips and hits his head.
The Swaney family ski boat is really just Scott in a pack raft.
Scott Swaney is not allowed to place bolts by hand in areas where power tools are banned.
When Scott Swaney receives a large bone-level gash from a falling rock, he figures it isn't a big deal and does the 30-hour canyon any way.
Scott Swaney used to carry a hand-crank flashlight in his emergency kit but doesn't any more since accidentally starting a forest fire two miles away.
Scott Swaney's submarine can outrun nearly all other submarines because it is powered by Scott Swaney pedaling.
Scott Swaney always carries a Fiddlestick. In an emergency, it provides enough polycarbonate shards for him to build 7 or 8 chock anchors.
Scott Swaney can do Death Valley canyons much later in the year than most other people because when he gets hot he just runs up to 11000 feet for a few minutes where it is cooler.
When rescue teams consider triple 1/2" bolts insufficient for a particular task, they ask Scott Swaney to meat anchor instead.
Scott Swaney's fellow hikers are sometimes worried about rattlesnakes because they know that biting Scott Swaney would be fatal for the rattlesnake.
Scott Swaney climbed 5.11 trad before cams were invented.
The television series 'MacGyver' was based on Lee David Zlotoff's canyoneering trip with Scott Swaney where Scott showed him how to build anchors.
Scott Swaney has no need for a compass; the earth's magnetic core follows him.
Aron Ralston's real story is that he high-fived Scott Swaney.
Scott Swaney once took his daughter out camping in the bayou. He hung his portaledge in the trees so he wouldn't harm the gators while he slept.
Scott Swaney can set up camp when there is no solid ground available for miles.
Scott Swaney doesn't carry a water filter. His saliva has been known to not only kill giardia and cryptosporidium but most waterborne viruses as well.
Scott Swaney once taught a canyoneering class. His only student that could keep up initially, failed the class stating "It was too physically demanding". Chuck Norris hasn't been canyoning since.
After countless returns from Scott Swaney, Petzl was forced to get the first ever UIAA certified speed rating on their ascenders.
A "Swaney traverse" is defined as a traverse with at least 400' of exposure. And a 3" ledge. On chossy rock.
There are old canyoneers and there are bold canyoneers...and then there's Scott Swaney.
Scott Swaney sometimes wonders if he can live up to Scott Swaney but then remembers that he is Scott Swaney.
Scott Swaney body rappels 600+ foot drops in Death Valley. He claims it "gets the crotch area smoking hot, for sure."
Scott Swaney occasionally borrows Thor's hammer to use as releasable rigging.
Scott Swaney was happy to encounter venomous snakes because he collected them for his business that extracted and sold their venom to anti-venom syrum manufacturers. He sometimes became sidetracked by catching beavers with his bare hands.
Some of these facts are actually true.